Show of hands….

For those of you who don’t know it Northcote Plaza is a small shopping centre located in a shallow depression between the High St shops, the Northcote Police Station and All Nations Park.

With its resident K-Mart closing a few years ago and two dollar shops now dominating the retail offering, Northcote Plaza has a fair way to go to catch Chadstone. 

Curiously however, Plaza shoppers enjoy an abundance of Coles’s – two to be exact, within quite a short walk of each other. 

To locals the two supermarkets are simply known as, Good Coles and Shit Coles.

Good Coles has, as you’d expect, all the good stuff; big produce section, a fancy deli, huge range of groceries and a small army of eager staff to serve the throngs of Northcote locals.  

Shit Coles on the other hand is a bit like a branch transplanted directly from a dying country town; lacklustre staff mope around half empty shelves, serving the few confused customers who soon discover they’ve made a terrible mistake and never return.

Why are there two Coles within metres of each other in one of Melbourne’s most underloved shopping malls you may well ask?

I’m sure the Coles PR department would have a list of reasons that would make the late John Clarke very proud.

Alternately, Allan Fels, the former chairman of the Australian Competition & Consumer Commission, might opine that this is simply one supermarket chain blocking another supermarket chain from opening a store in the same shopping centre.

In situations like these I often find myself imagining how conversations between supermarket execs go down at Coles and Woolies head offices….

So fellas, we’re one of two dominant players in the world’s most concentrated grocery market, this week we could use our overwhelming power and influence to either;

A.    Lead our farmers in a rapid changeover to regenerative agriculture resulting in millions of tons of carbon being sequestered into our soils.

or,

B.    Put a shit supermarket in Northcote Plaza so Woolies, Aldi or IGA can’t get a new shop up.

Show of hands for A?
And who’s for B?…..

This year, like most years, there’s an enquiry deciding whether the big supermarkets have been abusing their overwhelming power and influence.

The outcome at this stage is uncertain.

The good thing for us however, is that no matter what happens at the enquiry, every week we get the chance to decide who we’re going to buy our groceries from.

Weed-date-night

Join us for an evening amongst the plants at CERES Joe’s Market Garden for a special Valentines Day evening edition of Weed Dating!

There’ll be live local music with food and drinks from the bar. Your ticket includes a farm tour, a dusk weed dating session and a welcome drink.

What is weed dating? You’ve heard of speed dating – now just add weeding. Come and meet a new friend, lover, or anything in between (or beyond) amongst the plants at CERES Joe’s Market Garden. If you like plants and gardening, you’ll know that you and your date will have at least one thing in common!

This is an 18+ event open to all genders and sexualities. There are just 60 spots available, so get in quick!

Valentine’s in the Garden
Saturday 17 February 2024
5pm – 8pm
Tickets: $45/$40
Book here

Have a great week

Chris