Chances are they’re lying
Just when you thought their behaviour couldn’t possibly get worse this week the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) alleged Woolworths and Coles have been price gouging customers on more than 500 popular products like Weetbix, Bega Cheese and Maggi noodles.
Now it’s easy to picture the big supermarkets as enormous faceless corporate machines auto-implementing duplicitous algorithms designed to maximise bottom lines, but actually this is just everyday people sitting together in everyday meeting rooms coming up with new ways to steal from their customers and suppliers.
Sometimes, I imagine the conversations at Coles or Woolworths head offices where these ideas get made up. Typically it’ll be something like a Revenue Working Group brainstorm session with Scott and new team member, Tim, in an unused Zoom-room next to the photocopier alcove on the third floor.
Scott: Okay Tim, so the word’s come down from Carol in Marketing that we need some new ideas to increase margins, right?
Tim: Awesome, we’ve totally got this.
Scott: So quick review – we’ve just done excuse-flation – that’s just price increases across the board because we could.
Tim: Yep, that was top shelf.
Scott: And we’re doing rockets and feathers on our seasonal fruit and veg – that’s your quick price rises but slow price reductions.
Tim: Absolutely love that.
Scott: So Tim let’s ideate something fresh – what’ve you got?
Tim: Okay, what about…. not paying our younger workers all their entitlements?
Scott: (winces) We did that in 2014 – big stink.
Tim: Really? Okay, what about….charging suppliers for shelf space?
Scott: Now you’re cooking. Done that.
Tim: Charging suppliers a stocking fee?
Scott: Implemented.
Tim: Charging suppliers an unstocking fee?
Scott: Tick!
Tim: Right….Replacing local product with cheap imports?
Scott: Sorted!
Tim: How about playing farmers off against each other?
Scott: Got it!
Tim: Invoicing farmers for our marketing costs?
Scott: Implemented!
Tim: Wait, wait, wait, how about invoicing farmers to cover our losses?
Scott: (sharp intake of breath) Didn’t go down well – illegal apparently.
Tim: Huh, really?….Land-banking?
Scott: Onto it.
Tim: Store duplication?
Scott: Sorted
Tim: This is harder than I thought….
A lot of chin rubbing & head scratching
Tim: (jumps to his feet) Okay, okay, okay. How about we increase the price on a bunch of everyday items, like by a lot right?
Scott: Yeah?
Tim: Then we put them on a little bit of a discount but keep the cost at more than the old price.
Scott: So it’s a price cut…that’s actually a price rise?
Tim: Yeah, it’s a total win-win!! Customers get a discount and we make a bigger margin.
Scott: (fist bumping) Timmy-boy you are similar to a bloody genius. Wait till Carol in Marketing hears about this!
The sad part is that all of these margin-boosting tactics actually happened or are currently being investigated.
These days the distance between the way Coles or Woolworths promote themselves in public and how they actually behave is so far apart that maybe when they show ads featuring how much money they’re saving hard-working families or how they’ve got Aussie farmers’ backs there should be a consumer warning like they do with gambling ads.
Something at the end like “Chances are they’re lying.” or “Imagine where you could be shopping instead?”
Just a thought.
Content Creator job at Fair Food
If you follow Fair Food’s Insta or Facebook reels you’ll know Fair Food content creator Aisha Lloyd-Bonney’s charismatic hands. They’re in everything; from homemade crackers to veggie sausage rolls, surplus citrus savers to choc tahini date slices.
Thousands of people love Aisha’s work, including us, but after three and a half years of sharing stories for Fair Food, Aisha’s off up North to make a few stories of her own.
Which means Fair Food is looking for a digital content creator to work with our small marketing team.
If you love community, food, farming and falling in love with the Earth and you know your way around words, images and the digital marketing landscape then click on this link to find out more.
Have a great week
Chris
